So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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