My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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