Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Randomize
