do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
