Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
