I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
