I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
