I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
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