Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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