omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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