This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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