Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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