Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
