I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
