i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
