it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
