i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
