dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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