you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Shame is for Republicans.
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