It's Friday. Sex?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize