You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
BRING THE BAGELS
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
