haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I skipped work to stalk him.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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