i used baking grease as lip gloss
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
