census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Randomize
