he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Operation Purity has been aborted
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
They took my balls.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
