I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
