Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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