I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
