I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
