Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
