I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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