ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
