the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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