and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Randomize
