i just wanna soil my oats bro
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
