What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
