she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
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