plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
