i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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