And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
