Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
tell me about the eggs
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
