I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
