This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
