too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
