my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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