there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
