google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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