I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
