dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I have feelings that need drinking.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
