There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize