It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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