My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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