I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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