I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
