when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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