Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
