some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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