We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
