why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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