is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
