Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
