I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
