he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
Randomize