I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
