I can't watch pbs sober anymore
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
